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SHADOWS & LIGHTS

SAYING GOODBYE

The last six months or even seven has been a period of goodbyes. Some were dear friends who left Ankara as their period terminated, some girlfriends just exited my life, some friends unfortunately also died. So it really has been a period in my life that I said goodbye to very dear people who entered my life and left my life one way or another.

10 July 2011 Sunday 08:50
by Öznur Çevik

The last six months or even seven has been a period of goodbyes. Some were dear friends who left Ankara as their period terminated, some girlfriends just exited my life, some friends unfortunately also died. So it really has been a period in my life that I said goodbye to very dear people who entered my life and left my life one way or another.

I have never in my life said so many goodbyes in such a short period. For me each goodbye is hard. Those who know me closely know how emotional I am and after every single one of them – sometimes, in front of them… - sometimes in private I have been shedding tears.

People ask me, “You have been in this business and saying goodbye to people for so many years, aren’t you used to it?”

No! My answers is, no. One does not get used to something like that. And believe me each one of them who leave this country, take a tiny piece of my heart with them. (And I know they leave a tiny bit of theirs with me.)

Then there have been ending relations. Couple of ladies whom I considered to be my close friends and loved ended our relation or I stopped seeing them. First it was shocking, I would never expect. But then I realized no matter how and how long people come into our lives they enter our lives  for a reason. Then when their mission is completed they go. 

The end of any relationship is difficult, whether you've spent years together or just a few months. Love isn't put to overnight and can linger long after you've said goodbye.

In one case it really felt like a breakup.  One of my girl friends sent me an SMS and told me that she did not want to see me anymore. I was shocked! But also at the same time I was amazingly relieved.

Breakups can be brutal, on both sides. Those early, pure feelings of sharing, which brought you two together, become tangled up in ego, in resentment and pride and the need for self-protection. You close up and off. You turn away from what you admired and respected in the other, because it's just too damn painful to see it and know that it wasn't enough, that in the end you just "weren't feeling it."


If you are the one being left, be kind to yourself. Everyone will tell you not to take it personally and you shouldn't. Try to separate your wounded ego from the reality of the situation - that for whatever reason, this other person simply didn't want what you wanted at the exact same time. I hate to reduce good, productive relationships down to timing, but more often than not, timing is all we really have to go on.

At the time, when my friend sent me the SMS, I did not understand then realized her mission in my life or my mission in her life was completed and it was time for us to continue on our own. To move on!

Anyway, now a friend of  mine whom I dearly love and I am proud to have as a friend is going on a two week holiday and I know I am going to miss her terribly. She will be back in no time. But I know one day her husband’s mission in Ankara will be over and she will leave like the others and it never will be the same.

So we must enjoy our friendships while we have them and we must be ready for goodbyes.

In the meantime we have now!

Until next week keep cool and healthy!


Tags: SAYING GOODBYE, SAYING, GOODBYE
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