March 30, 2017 / 15:39
AZERBAIJAN CELEBRATES 98TH REPUBLIC DAY-GEORGIA MARKS NATIONAL DAY-LIECHTENSTEIN-SAMM’S BISTRO HOSTS INTERNATIONAL ANKARA JAZZ FESTIVAL-HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY MOM-ABOUT FRIENDSHIP…-FRIENDS…. I LOVE YOU!-BROKEN WINGS...-GO AND FALLOW YOUR PASSION-TO INVISIBLE MOTHERS…-Ankara Scene
SMILE

WHAT IT TAKES TO GET TO HEAVEN?

All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted.

1 June 2014 Sunday 00:52
All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was not a good one. "I came home early and found my wife lying naked in bed. She claimed she had just gotten out of the shower. Well, her hair was dry and I checked the shower and it was completely dry too. I knew she was into some hanky-panky and I began to look for her lover. I went onto the balcony of our 9th floor apartment and found the SOB clinging to the rail by his finger tips. I was so angry that I began bashing his fingers with a flower pot. He let go and fell, but his fall was broken by some awnings and bushes. On seeing he was still alive I found super human strength to drag our antique cedar chest to the balcony and throw
it over. It hit the man and killed him. At this point the stress got to me and I suffered a massive heart attack and died. The clerk thanked him and sent him on to the next office.

The second applicant said that his last day was his worst. "I was on the roof of an apartment building working on the AC equipment. I stumbled over my tools and toppled off the building. I managed to grab onto the balcony rail of a 9th floor apartment but some idiot came rushing out on the balcony and bashed my hands with a flower pot. I
fell but hit some awnings and bushes and survived, but as I looked up I saw a huge chest falling toward me. I tried to crawl out of the way but failed and was hit and killed by the chest." The clerk couldn't help but chuckle as he directs the man to the next room.

He is still giggling when his third customer of the day enters. He apologizes and says "I doubt that your last day was as interesting as the fellow in here just before you." 
"I don't know" replies the man, "picture this, I'm buck naked, hiding in this cedar chest....."


Tags: WHAT IT TAKES TO GET TO HEAVEN?, WHAT, IT, TAKES, TO, GET, TO, HEAVEN?
COMMENTS
OTHER NEWS IN SMILE
 
ELEVEN ON A ROPE
BELATED GUARDIAN ANGEL
DIAMOND NECKLACE
WIFE  VS. HUSBAND
DEAR DAD
LAWYER
CLEAR COAST
THE CAB DRIVER
BULLS
CARING MAN
PLAYING CHESS
THE BOSS
PRICE OF COFFEE
MAGICIAN
WRONG E-MAIL ADRESS
COMPUTER DIAGNOSIS
BEAUTIFUL
FORGET ABOUT IT
WHO DOES WHAT?
BUSINESS IS BUSINESS
WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?
LOCATING A LOST WIFE
WOMEN THINK OF EVERYTHING
A HAPPY WOMAN
HUNGRY SNAKE
YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS REST
A WOMAN’S TALE OF DIVORCE
DIAMOND NECKLACE
SEX ON MARS
FARMER AND THE OLD LADY
BEFORE…
40TH ANNIVERSARY
LOOKING FOR A WIFE
JAPANESE PIZZA
THE BAT BET
LECTURE TOUR WITH A DIFFERENCE
GETTING DIVORCED
MAILMAN
MEANING OF WIFE
TAX INSPECTOR
 
 
 
 
This Exfoliating Soda Scrub recipe may seem very simple, but bicarbonate of soda (baking soda) has been used in home-made skincare remedies for hundreds of years....
 
 
Super weak mannequins in shop windows, people trying to weaken, adorning the shelves of bookstores selling diet books and products in pharmacies undermine 3-5 kg a week,...
 
 
When suddenly the unexpected happens, it's always me... just getting everything ready for the time of your life....
 
 
 
 
“Everywhere you go, the sky is blue.”...
 
 
 
Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter in flight, 10 men and 1 woman....
 
 
 
Havadurumu
Copyright 2010 Öznur Çevik, Bu sitede yayınlanan tüm materyalin her hakkı saklıdır. Kaynak gösterilmeden kullanılamaz.