March 23, 2017 / 13:11
SHADOWS & LIGHTS
WHY WOMEN ARE SCARED OF STRANGERS?
Its a Friday and you decide to go to a bar. While you are in the bar you see a pretty lady but you feel she is standing there ice cold so you are scared to approach.
27 October 2013 Sunday 09:11
by ÖZNUR ÇEVİK
Its a Friday and you decide to go to a bar. While you are in the bar you see a pretty lady but you feel she is standing there ice cold so you are scared to approach. Or you a re dinning some place you see a single lady sitting across your table, she takes your breath away but when she looks up you see in her eyes a sign that says Dont you dare!
You know why for centuries and centuries women have been mentally or physically abused. They have been beaten, raped, killed only because they are women.
I am not writing these as a feminist. I have never been one. I am writing this column as a woman who had had a similar experience as the lady who has written the following piece youll see here within.
When I was around my early twenties while walking down a street was attacked by two men however I was fortunate to escape by kicking, biting, hitting and screaming. It was noon time and they were afraid so let go of me and I remembering running down the street without shoes on.
After that for six months I jumped at every movement. Every time someone touched me even if by mistake I would hit the ceiling. Then in time I went back to normal. But believe me it is not easy. You need to work on yourself, your psychology, your self esteem a lot afterwards.
You may have heard about the two young Japanese ladies who we raped and one was killed recently. Can you imagine the life of the surviving girl? She definitely will need a lot of professional and family and friends support.
For what? Her only wish was to walk through some beautiful valley, admiring the beauty of the nature and having good time with her friend who was raped and killed in front of her eyes.
The Following was posted by Christine Firefly from Fairless Hills, PA
Please read and try to understand why women are sometimes withdrawn, cold, strange, not friendly.
27 years ago today I was raped and would have been murdered had I not talked my attacker out of strangling me. I was 18 then and I had graduated from Lehman HS five months earlier and was working full time. I had applied to Hunter and Marymount Manhattan College and was looking forward to starting college in January. I was a flirty, confident young woman and I seemingly had no fears. In one night that all changed.
I suffered indignities no person should ever know. I was beaten and left with a fractured nose and teeth knocked loose from a savage beating. After being raped, my attacker put his hands on my throat to strangle me. I found the words to talk him out of it and save my life. When he was done with me he spit on me and left me lying in the bramble. I walked ten blocks to the nearest hospital and reported the rape where I suffered further indignities during the exam and the police interview. Three days later I found my attacker after pouring through several hundred mug shots.
The trial was an experience that still can anger me if I think about it. He was found not guilty and let go, to rape again I am quite sure. And I was left with this gaping hole in my soul that has taken decades to close. I often wonder who I would have been had I not been raped. I never did go to college. I was afraid to get on the subway for two years. I didnt date for a year and I will admit that for about six years I hated and feared nearly every man who crossed my path. I felt lost and out of control and deeply saddened and let down by the judicial system.
But when I started therapy, I began to feel hopeful that all was not lost. Baby steps along the ensuing years lead me to feelings of renewed confidence and comfort in my own skin. I learned that I could flirt and trust again. I no longer rejected intimacy and I had several very loving relationships.
Am I fully healed? Id like to think so. My attacker has no hold on me. I live my life as best as I can and choose to be happy. I wish I had gone to college, though. And now it is too late for me. But I have mastered several career choices all without a degree. I have an amazing circle of family and friends who believed in me and held me up during those very dark times when all I wanted to do was fall down and die. The strength born in that hole in my soul is what drives me to speak about this and drives me to write the book about survivors and their experiences. I could not ask others to share their stories with the world and not share mine, too. So I ask you, loves, to share with me your stories. And if you have been fortunate enough to never have experienced rape or sexual abuse, pass on my message to someone else. We are out there, so many of us. And it is my fervent wish to give a voice to all. I want laws changed and sentences carried out with more severity. I want the backlog of rape kits to be processed so that rapists dont have more time to perpetrate their heinous, violent acts until they are caught. The evidence is collected and cant be entered into the data bases fast enough to reference. The reason? Not enough funding available. That is outrageous. The safety of the citizens of this country should not be compromised due to lack of funding.
So next time when you see a single lady before you approach make sure she understands that you are harmless. Dont forget that for sure either she has witnessed something similar or she knows someone who has!
Until next week keep cool and healthy!
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